On Graduation and Growing Up

I've been living the postgraduate life for about a week now, which means things are slowing down and hopefully blog posts are coming sooner. 

My boyfriend asked me this morning why I hadn't made a blog post about graduation and I sat there dumbfounded. In all honesty... I hadn't even thought to talk about it.

On the 'feeling' of graduating

I can't really describe what it's like to be out of college because it doesn't feel like school is really over. I admit that when I walked across that huge stage to get my "diploma", I did feel a sense of finality and that things in college were coming to an end. I also admit that when I moved out of my dorm it did feel a little different than years previous because I had this weird feeling that I wouldn't be coming back. 

However, this feeling was something that I had to constantly remind myself about. I felt like I was making myself sad when really I had no emotions going through me at all. I kept telling myself 'You should be sad right now. You should be paying attention to what's going on. You should be remembering every second you have left."  I was numb to the graduation hysteria, up until I said goodbye to my friends. 

I found myself sitting in the car, watching the buildings of my university disappear as we drove away and thinking that I should remember this moment because I'm never going to come back. 

Now I know never is a strong word because I'm probably going to be back sometime for reunions or other occasions but all in all, I will never be on campus the same way that I was as an undergrad. Confronting that fact alone is something that both relieves me and scares me. 

The week before graduation, time was crawling. No one knew what was going on, I had no finals to do, and most days were spent lazing on the couch or playing Sims 4 in the common room. Our rooms were half packed and in a state of disarray, and our fridge is getting gradually more empty as we ate the foods we liked and left behind ones we didn't. 

It felt like things were winding down but the tail end of school came faster than anything I've ever experienced. On Friday we were relaxing in our apartment and Saturday evening we were preparing our goodbyes as we stepped halfway out the door. 

On living at home

Now that I'm back home living with my parent's things are a lot different than when I lived on my own. 

I'm sure any college graduate that has moved back in with their parents can tell you that adjusting from operating on your schedule to operating on your parent's schedule is a pretty big change. 

You lose that freedom that you had at school and you have to figure out how to be an adult in a space where your parents are also adults (though they may not treat you as such). 

The biggest emotional hurdle I encountered when moving back home was sitting in my childhood room with bags and boxes from my previous apartment that I now had no place for. I knew a major rehaul was in order. That day, I sifted through everything I owned from the time I was born up until my shopping trip last week.  I got rid of a lot of stuff that I tried to hold onto for sentimental reasons, which was hard. 

I realized that I had been using this room as a space to hold old memories, not as space I could actually live in post-graduation, so I took a few hours out of my day to do some cleaning discarding and donating. With all that done, my childhood sleep space became my adult workspace.

On jobs

For those who have been blessed with a job starting right after graduation, life may be a little bit different for you than it is for me. 

I received a summer position that doesn't start until July so I have a lot more free time than I expected. 

Right now I'm just trying to form new healthy routines, like working out and studying for the JLPT N2 that I might be taking in December. 

In a way, I'm kind of afraid for the end of the summer "vacation" because once the fall comes around my adult life is starting and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm sure every person has this moment in their life where they have to come to terms with changing and growing up, but I never considered how I would feel when it happened to me. 

To all the graduates out there, you did it! I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic and as always thanks for reading :)

Reflecting on Consumerism and Our Materialistic Society

This post comes at a very ironic time. 

If you look, the post previous to this one is talking about all the beauty and makeup items that I purchased at Whole Foods during their big sale. This was a fairly easy post to write, and I had it all written up within a day. However, after I published it I struggled to find something that I could publish after. Publishing a post about buying things during a sale made me feel like I should follow up with more hauls or more reviews about the products that I purchased. 

In the quest for inspiration for my next post, I had been watching some YouTube videos based on what was recommended to me and I came across a video about consumerism. I'm no stranger to the concepts of minimalism and the Marie Kondo crazy of 'tidying up', and I agree with the movements that proclaim you should reduce the items you have. I admit I go through obsessive phases of cleaning where I minimalize my room as much as possible, but I always get caught up with items that are sentimental. 

I fear I will need these things later so I continue to hang onto them. The problem with this is that, when I hang onto these items, I bury them away in a place where I cannot access them so when the time comes where I may actually need to use them I instead go out and buy more. 

When you buy more you never just buy what you stepped into the store to get. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this experience: You go into a grocery store or a clothing store looking for one thing and walk out with five different things. At that moment it feels awesome to get a bunch of new things to bring home but once you actually add these things to your collection of stuff, the novelty of buying and spending money wears off. We accumulate more items we think we "have to have" to scratch the consumerist itch, and yet we are never satisfied and plan to buy more the next day. 

I was caught in this cycle. Back at the end of 2018, I spent about $400 on what I called a "Professional Wardrobe" from Zara because I thought I needed more clothes. I looked up what other young professionals were wearing, made a list of clothes I needed to have to get "the look" and headed out. I ended up returning about $100 worth of those items because I didn't really like them and as I sit here today I have two $40 pairs of shoes that are staring at me from across the room, sitting in my donation bin. I don't wear them and I honestly don't like them, but at the time I really felt like I needed them. 

Buying these items may have quenched my thirst for new things at the time, but it didn't stop me from wanting more and more. As someone who loves internet shopping, it gets to a point where you're sitting there after browsing page after page of results and think: "What is the point of this?. 

Sometimes a bigger question arises: "Who am I doing this for?" 

I have an unpublished post about minimalism that I wrote 6 months ago sitting in my blog drafts. I went into an in-depth analysis of who minimalism caters to in society and did some commentary about how trendy being minimalist has become. I believe those who practice minimalism have the privilege to do so, as they have all their basic necessities, and that it can be used as a tool to combat consumerism. 

I'm blessed to have things such as food, shelter, education and a small amount of savings. I'm blessed to be healthy and happy. These are things that cannot be obtained by simply having more stuff. Getting a new shirt will only make me happy temporarily. 

I'm struggling to get through all the beauty and makeup products I purchased from Whole Foods because there's just too much. At the time, when everyone was waiting on line to buy it, I convinced myself that I needed it, but in reality, I now have so much excess that I find myself going out of my way to actively use these products just to use them up! 

These two beauty bags sit on my desk, a constant reminder of the valuable lesson I've learned regarding our obsession with buying more and more and it's given me some ideas about how I want to treat the things I acquire going forward. 

So if you've made it this far in the post, here are some small things you can do to avoid overshopping:

• Make a detailed list of what you need before you go into the store. If you need a new pair of jeans because your old ones are falling apart at the seams, just buy jeans. 
• Have a budget. Tell yourself you will only spend $X amount for X item. 
• Get things secondhand. Scour the internet for things you can use that have been gently used previously, or stuff you can upcycle!

I know this subject is hotly debated and this post may come off as a rant of sorts but I definitely wanted to share my feelings about this especially since I'm just beginning to gain so much knowledge. As always, thanks for reading :)

Everything I Bought During The Whole Foods Beauty Sale

In case you haven't heard, Whole Foods is having a major beauty blowout as we speak. If you buy select products from the Whole Body aisle any time from today, March 27th to April 2nd, you will receive 25 percent off! Some of the products on sale include shampoo, conditioner, hair dye, skincare, and makeup! Even better news, if you are an Amazon prime member you can receive an extra 10 percent off your entire purchase.

On Friday March 29th Whole Foods will give away free beauty goodie bags to the first 200 people in store, so wake up bright and early and be there at 8 am to collect!

Since I work at Whole Foods I have the special added bonus of an additional 20 percent off my purchase, which was great news for my wallet. I went a little product crazy while in the aisle, dumping anything I saw under 10 dollars into my pre-sale bag, but in the end, I walked away with 7 items I'm really excited about. 

I decided to stick to skin care products and didn't end up picking out any hair care products since I'm well supplied in that department. I usually buy all my skincare from LUSH, which ends up being a pretty expensive ordeal, so I'm actively looking for more affordable alternatives to some of my LUSH favorites. (I'm talking about you Ultrabland!)

Acure: Brightening Day Cream & Acure Seriously Soothing Blue Tansy Night Oil

I asked for a recommendation about sensitive skin care, and I was directed to this brand by one of the Whole Body associates. I currently don't have a serum in my face care regime so I was really into this Blue Tansy Night Oil. I tried a bit on my hand and the serum itself is actually a light blue color and had a lightly floral scent. I don't like when my skincare smells too strongly, and both of these products didn't give off to much of a scent. 

I will say that the size is a little small, but it seems like just enough to give these products a fair trial. I'm currently using argan oil in my hair care routine so I thought I might as well bring it into my skin care as well!

Andalou Ultra Sheer Daily Defense Lotion

The current lotion I use is a Gold Bond oatmeal infused eczema treatment, and while it has done wonders for my face, I feel like it's a little heavy and waxy for daytime wear. I wanted to pick up a lotion that I can use as a primer for my makeup, as well as be protected from the sun with some kind of SPF. This ultra sheet lotion from Andalou fit that bill exactly, I can't wait to try it out.

Yesto Energizing Coffee 2-in-1 Scrub & Cleanser Stick

I actually had this product on my Amazon wishlist! It was recommended in a recent Buzzfeed community post about skincare, along with some other budget-friendly products. I'm really interested in the 'energizing' claim, and to see if it actually works!

Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay

I have heard AMAZING things about this clay! If you search it up on Amazon there are hundreds of 5-star reviews saying this saved their skin. I don't have acne, but I do have a lot of hyperpigmentation and redness around my T-Zone. I opened it up to see what the clay looked like, and to my surprise, the clay is actually a fine grey powder. Tip: Mix this with Apple Cider Vinegar for boosted effectiveness!

365 Cleansing Micellar Water

I currently use LUSH's Ultrabland to remove my makeup. I've tried a lot of different makeup removal techniques but they have all been really drying on my skin, so I'm hoping this micellar water can become a cheaper alternative (~$7) to the money I spend every 2 or 3 months buying replacement Ultrabland ($30). 

Yesto Detoxifying Charcoal Cleanser

Another Yesto product! I poured a little out of the bottle to test the consistency and it seemed a little gel-like, but I'm hoping that means it's not going to be too harsh on my skin. Charcoal tends to be very drying but it's really useful when it comes to removing blackheads!

Air Wrapping Mask Brightening Skullcap

I saw that there was a 5 for $10 deal for these masks so I picked some up! However, it should be noted that it's only 5 for $10 if you pick out 5 of the same kind of mask. Since I picked out different versions of the mask I did not receive the deal, which I didn't know! I don't use face masks in the weekly skin care regime, partly because I don't like buying single-use products, but I'm willing to give these a try!

I'm excited to get my beauty bag on Friday and see what I get, but overall I think I got a pretty good haul from the blowout sale alone. If you're in need of some skincare and happen to have an Amazon Prime account, it could be a great investment! Thanks for reading~

3 year anniversary

This post is particularly special because this event comes once a year.

March 20th, 2016 marks the day that I returned from spring break with a box of red velvet cake in hand. I brought it up under the guise that it was a cake for roommate's birthday, but I whispered to the bakery staff to write "Be Mine?' in blue icing. I walked into Vincent's room and my nerves melted away as he gave me a hug.

Placing the box on his bed I stood there with my coat on as he talked about his break, pacing excitedly around his room. "You have to try this cake" I tried to rope the conversation in the direction of the box sitting on top of his comforter, but he was too animated to notice my subtle nudges. I cut the string with my key and opened the box from the top up, presenting it to Vinny with a faux cool "Would you be my boyfriend?" 

March 20th marks the day that he said yes to my proposal and to my cake.

Sitting in his dorm eating a slice of cake that day, I could have never predicted how far we would come together. I could have never predicted that we would sit through a six-month stint of video calling every morning and every night, running on both Japanese and American time.

I could have never predicted how he would lift me up through the roughest waters I'd ever seen, and calmly build me back up piece by piece so carefully that it felt natural. He helped me flourish into a confident and loving person, then said it was all me.

I'll be frank. On March 20th, 2016 I was in a bad place. I had just escaped a worse place, but I wasn't myself anymore. I was in a strange, unfeeling place that I thought I would be left floating in for the rest of my life.

We sit here hand in hand three years later, so happy that I can't remember what it was like to be so down, and I recognized that I have so many blessings in my life.

The college chapter of our lives that first introduced us is now coming to a close. In this time of change, it can be hectic thinking about where you'll end up next, what career you want, and who you are as an adult. I have my family, my friends, and the love of my life as a rock to keep me forever grounded and ready for the next adventure.

Happy 3 year anniversary Vincent! Here's to many more amazing memories.

A Day in Tokyo Disneyland

The long-awaited Disney post has come! Vincent and I had an incredible day at Disney, I was a little surprised that everything played out so perfectly. It was a very chilly day but that didn't stop us from staying until 9pm!

I arranged to meet up with my good friends Mame and Ryry for this day at Disney and I could not have been in better company. I had such a fun time with them, and Vincent and Ryry really clicked. Ryry assumed the guide role very well, and he had control of the map most of the day, which was totally fine with me! I was happy to just walk around and follow the flow.

Here is our video!

I will warn in advance that this vlog does not contain video footage of rides. To my surprise, almost all the rides that we went on were super dark. We went on one ride, the name escapes me at this moment but I think it was in Tomorrowland, where it was totally pitch black except for some stars. I also wanted to just be in the moment and enjoy the rides, so the only footage included in the vlog was our ride on 'It's A Small World'!

For those who have never been to Tokyo Disney, Vincent said it was exactly like Disney World in Florida, but on a smaller scale. They have various lands like Tomorrowland and Adventureland, but it's more condensed. I feel like this park is very do-able in one day if you come when it's not too crowded. I planned with Ryry ahead of time as to which day would be best to go and we found that the 10th was predicted to have very small crowds, supposedly less than 10,000 people in the park.

I have to say, it was a pretty empty park day! It was still busy, but the waits for rides were almost nothing. We walked unto a lot of rides, and the only time we really sat around on a line was towards the end of the night. We got caught in the rush of people looking to get one more ride in before the park's closure. Even so, at that time we only waited in line for 30 minutes! The wait flew by for me because there was an adorable baby right ahead of us and I was obsessed with her the entire time.

Of course, Vincent and I had to take a cute couple photo in front of the castle~

This was one of the most memorable days of our trip, and I remember walking around and thinking that I was so lucky to be here. I felt so lucky to be standing on a line, halfway across the world from my friends and family. The freezing breeze was making my hands red, but I snapped all these photos and videos happily. I want to thank Mame and Ryry for showing Vincent and I around. We couldn't have had a better time, and as I watched the fireworks I was overwhelmed with a gratefulness I can't put into words. I am so happy that Vincent and I embarked on this journey together.

I'll admit I was nervous about traveling internationally with him, but my worries melted away as soon as we headed out. Time and time again on our trip he showed me what love looks like. Every ride we rode that we sat beside each other, our hands were intertwined. Every time we sat beside each other, we whispered 'I love you' when we thought Mame and Ryry were busy chatting away.

I treasure the photos I have from this day, it shows pure happiness that only the magic of Disney could reveal to me.